Stop~Watch & Respond!

Greetings to all Struggling Survivors and the people they touch,

 

 

Are you, or do you know of someone who is a house mate being consistantly verbally or physically abused?  Are you or they considering moving out of the home?  Then this message is for them or for you.

 

Why should YOU move out of YOUR house?  Remember, you are the victim in this circumstance, the one being threatened... go to a judge, file an order of protection from abuse, state your reasons why you feel threatened, and let the judge order him or her out.  There is no reason why you should be emotionally muscled out of your own home.  If you share a space with someone who is threatening you, then you are not safe, not at all.  He or she is volatile to say the least and escalating aggressions could lead to far worse circumstances for you.  If he/she has touched you inappropriately/aggressively, things will only escalate and you will be far more injured having to face recovery issues you never thought you would have to endure. 

 

You would be wise to keep your distance... the best way to put a stop to an abusive situation is distance.  There is no convincing this person that you are doing anything right.  If you have expressed your concern, then the information has been delivered... he/she is aware of your feelings of violation, don't stick around in hopes to see improvement when he/she clearly won't show respect for your concerns.  Remember, he/she has already sh** on you, so it is too difficult in ones state of rage to see you as other than their personal receptacle.  The line of friend to victim has already been crossed and you have already enabled this person to do so, that being said, at this point... in this person's mind... you are free target.  You will not be able to change his/her views on this because most victim-abusers feel they have the upper hand, thus as the victim you are stupid and know nothing and they are the powerful ones who dominate and control YOU... in other words, you don't tell them sh**... THEY TELL YOU.  This is their created reality... but it is NOT reality!   

 

Has he/she ever called you out of your name?  Using tags for you such as: Bit**, Ho*, MTFu****, SOB, etc."  Using these dog tag names means that the value he/she had on your relationship is now meaningless.  Your name personalizes your identity in ones mind, keeps you a person rather than an object of his aggression.  (The element of human dignity lies within ones name)  Now that you are "bit**" or "SOB" rather than your given name, he/she could do anything to you... anything! 

 

Here is an additional concern... do you have a pet?  Victim-abusers have commonly been known to be cruel to animals and if he/she is already doing things in your home to instigate you, and you are non-responsive, he/she will search for things which you hold dearest in order to force you into being responsive.  Quite frankly, your pet is just as vulnerable to your circumstances as you are. 

 

You MUST be free to live, you are not meant to be a prisoner of your own home, neither is your pet.  If you live in a situation similar to this, you are emotionally hostage to this person.  I know that finding a new place... or a temporary place until he/she leaves might be difficult, but if you can remove yourself and your pet from the environment immediately it would be in both your best interests.  DO NOT LET HIM/HER make you feel ashamed of what HE/SHE is doing to you.  Telling others that you are not safe is GOOD!  GET HELP, you may not have to do this alone and there may be a way to get help for your pet as well. In the end, you will do what you can do, what you deem is best for you. I wish you the best!  Love and light and never give up the fight...

 

This e-mail blast has been brought to you by:

Author of The Mosaic: Shattered Pieces and Public Speaker on Traumatic Abuse Prevention and Recovery Motivation, Ms. Rachel Milano

 

In all you do, be well... and do not keep silent,

Ms. Rachel Milano