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Actively Preventing Childhood Trauma!
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Personal Update from Ms. Milano
Posted by REM
at 07:35 AM on May 12, 2008
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comments (0)
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Greetings Lovely People!
You have no idea what your words of encouragement do for me! I was grounded today by the storms! How about that? I'm sure you heard about the tornado, thunderstorms and high winds ripping through GA! Well it was all for the best as I was able to spend Mother's day with my kiddies! NOW THAT WAS AMAZING!
Listen, we all do what we are called to do in this life, I have a heart that is determined to achieve this goal and a God who can deliver so I just keep on believing, keep on pushing and hope that my arrival in Atlanta will be my first big step towards having a place, a home, a center, a safe haven for victim recovery, servicing ages 8-80! When I said it is time... I meant now! Living today for life tomorrow! This is what it really boils down to, this project will out live me... my children... your children and yet they will be the ones reaping the greatest of it's rewards.
I have a lot of time to think out there... I think about so many things, the children, those who service in the field of victim intervention, the officers of the court, organizations who continuously exploit and bicker over resources costing us our greatest resource... our children. I also think of the organizations who are sincerely dedicating their time and finances to our MUTUAL goal... Tomorrow's America. I think about the documentary film I'm trying to produce and how we begin filming in only a month and I am still gathering the resources to make it all happen... I think of the stories you all have told me on the road and how important they are to you. I want your feelings to be heard, your concerns from various perspectives of this issue to be revealed and that we finally begin to seriously and respectfully consider all your words and experiences so that we can use them to create an effective plan of action that will noticeably start the process of bringing down the fatality reports as well as the victim reports.
I look forward to embarking on a plan that will ensure our children are granted TRUE PUBLIC SAFETY, where at least in public they can be assured they will be protected from harm. I believe in imposing fines upon those who put a child's welfare in danger in public. You've stood in the grocery store lines, you know what I am talking about. There is much work to be done and though it is hard, it must be done.
We must find productive solutions as there are not enough prison doors available in this country to contain offenders and you'd need lightening bolts from heaven to source the amount of energy needed to execute them all. It's time to be realistic about this issue and make some conscious decisions on appropriate solutions. It is time to go right for the core issues that lie within an overwhelming number of offenders, failed victim recovery. If only 30% of future offenders would recover from their child hood issues of abuse what do you think that would do to our statistics?
Oh my... I have begun to ramble... SO... let me end with this... I will keep on pushing... this is my purpose, this is what makes my life worth having lived and my sister's as well. I'm asking as many of you as can to join me on my final 3 miles into Atlanta... I'm expecting to pull in the 28th or 29th but keep checking back here to find out.
Since I had to off load half the wagon load, I did not have my video camera charger and film with me, but I'll be changing that tomorrow, so more video's will go up. As for pictures, due to the heat outside, I've not carried film, but many of you have taken photo's, if you can, please email us copies so we can post them for those who are interested in seeing how things are progressing.
I have sincerely loved each of you for your part in this... OUR JOURNEY... you see... this is my purpose, but it is genuinely OUR JOURNEY~ for without you... it would be in vain~
Love and light go with you all... Ms. Milano
You have no idea what your words of encouragement do for me! I was grounded today by the storms! How about that? I'm sure you heard about the tornado, thunderstorms and high winds ripping through GA! Well it was all for the best as I was able to spend Mother's day with my kiddies! NOW THAT WAS AMAZING!
Listen, we all do what we are called to do in this life, I have a heart that is determined to achieve this goal and a God who can deliver so I just keep on believing, keep on pushing and hope that my arrival in Atlanta will be my first big step towards having a place, a home, a center, a safe haven for victim recovery, servicing ages 8-80! When I said it is time... I meant now! Living today for life tomorrow! This is what it really boils down to, this project will out live me... my children... your children and yet they will be the ones reaping the greatest of it's rewards.
I have a lot of time to think out there... I think about so many things, the children, those who service in the field of victim intervention, the officers of the court, organizations who continuously exploit and bicker over resources costing us our greatest resource... our children. I also think of the organizations who are sincerely dedicating their time and finances to our MUTUAL goal... Tomorrow's America. I think about the documentary film I'm trying to produce and how we begin filming in only a month and I am still gathering the resources to make it all happen... I think of the stories you all have told me on the road and how important they are to you. I want your feelings to be heard, your concerns from various perspectives of this issue to be revealed and that we finally begin to seriously and respectfully consider all your words and experiences so that we can use them to create an effective plan of action that will noticeably start the process of bringing down the fatality reports as well as the victim reports.
I look forward to embarking on a plan that will ensure our children are granted TRUE PUBLIC SAFETY, where at least in public they can be assured they will be protected from harm. I believe in imposing fines upon those who put a child's welfare in danger in public. You've stood in the grocery store lines, you know what I am talking about. There is much work to be done and though it is hard, it must be done.
We must find productive solutions as there are not enough prison doors available in this country to contain offenders and you'd need lightening bolts from heaven to source the amount of energy needed to execute them all. It's time to be realistic about this issue and make some conscious decisions on appropriate solutions. It is time to go right for the core issues that lie within an overwhelming number of offenders, failed victim recovery. If only 30% of future offenders would recover from their child hood issues of abuse what do you think that would do to our statistics?
Oh my... I have begun to ramble... SO... let me end with this... I will keep on pushing... this is my purpose, this is what makes my life worth having lived and my sister's as well. I'm asking as many of you as can to join me on my final 3 miles into Atlanta... I'm expecting to pull in the 28th or 29th but keep checking back here to find out.
Since I had to off load half the wagon load, I did not have my video camera charger and film with me, but I'll be changing that tomorrow, so more video's will go up. As for pictures, due to the heat outside, I've not carried film, but many of you have taken photo's, if you can, please email us copies so we can post them for those who are interested in seeing how things are progressing.
I have sincerely loved each of you for your part in this... OUR JOURNEY... you see... this is my purpose, but it is genuinely OUR JOURNEY~ for without you... it would be in vain~
Love and light go with you all... Ms. Milano
Unconditional Love V/S Unconditional Acceptance
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Posted by REM
at 10:19 AM on May 07, 2008
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Greetings to all Struggling Survivors and those they touch,
I
just wanted to drop a brief message pertaining to unconditional love
v/s unconditional acceptance. It will be short as I believe if one
thinks on the title long enough, the message is clear.
Many
times those who are verbally or physically abusive say, "You're
supposed to love me unconditionally" Or "I thought you loved me
unconditionally" as a means of guilting you into allowing them back
into your good graces. You should love unconditionally, that does not
mean you have to accept everything they say or do, behaviors,
activities, etc. While we love one another unconditionally, part of
the responsibility that comes with that love is the ability to hold
those we love accountable for their actions, especially when those
actions result in the kind of pain which hinders one from thriving in
life. Something I've recently learned to apply is the need to be
attentive to the situation, when abuse is not clearly eveident,
question the action and it's intention prior to "assuming" ones
motives, this will enable you to clarify the intentions and avoid
unnecessary disputes. Love yourself and others enough to hold and be
held accountable for ones actions, be slow to judgment and never
condemn.
Men
and women, be responsible, love yourself unconditionally so that when
you raise your hand or your voice to those who love you, you raise it
in love, not in violence. Help us win the battle against depression
resulting in abuse! If this message has been helpful to you or you
think it might be helpful to someone you know, please forward it as a
gift of love and support from all of us who care.
Thu, 10 May 2007
Thu, 10 May 2007
a look at abuse
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Posted by REM
at 07:57 PM on May 02, 2008
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comments (0)
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Many of you all don't know the background behind Rachel's story. I could go into a lot of exposition here but I think the best way to know who Rachel is is to read Antwone Fisher's poem (Made famous in the eponymous movie on his life) "Who will Cry for the Little Boy". If you all haven't seen Antwone Fisher and heard this poem...
"Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?
Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own?
Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps.
Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man.
Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again.
Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?"
- Antwone Fisher
Just replace the male pronouns with female and you have the story of abuse and neglect that plagues roughly 1/3 of America...and about 2/3 of those are unrecovered...self medicating with alcohol, drugs, sex, crime, OCD and abusing themselves and others...that's about 60 million adults folks.
Who will cry for the little boy (girl)?
"Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?
Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own?
Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps.
Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man.
Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again.
Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?"
- Antwone Fisher
Just replace the male pronouns with female and you have the story of abuse and neglect that plagues roughly 1/3 of America...and about 2/3 of those are unrecovered...self medicating with alcohol, drugs, sex, crime, OCD and abusing themselves and others...that's about 60 million adults folks.
Who will cry for the little boy (girl)?
April
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Posted by REM
at 09:49 AM on May 01, 2008
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comments (0)
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Rachel comments -
"Just because child abuse and awareness month is over doesn't mean that we should deactivate our awareness!"
"Just because child abuse and awareness month is over doesn't mean that we should deactivate our awareness!"
Inspired to go one more step
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Posted by REM
at 07:10 PM on April 28, 2008
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comments (0)
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Rachel's new friend Sparrow's son-in-law was a sniper in Iraq. He ended up in a wheelchair, yet this young man has not failed to show his support to Rachel by wheeling beside her, even in his pain, several miles on the Push for Awareness. He even ended up giving Rachel a set of 'dog tags' that he wore over there inscribed with this message. May it take hold of your life and help you overcome as it has all of us.
"I will be strong and courageous. I will not be terrified or discouraged, for the Lord my God is with me wherever I go" Joshua 1:9
"I will be strong and courageous. I will not be terrified or discouraged, for the Lord my God is with me wherever I go" Joshua 1:9
To Rachel ...as this best describes you.
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Posted by REM
at 03:09 AM on April 28, 2008
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comments (0)
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Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou
"Still I Rise"from AND STILL I RISE by Maya Angelou,
copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou.
Used by permission of Random House, Inc.
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
© Maya Angelou, 1978.
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?
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Posted by REM
at 11:18 AM on April 26, 2008
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comments (0)
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Many People have wondered what the overall goal is to all of this...the Vigil, 250 Mile Push for Awareness, The Mosaic Books and Documentary?
The best way to describe it is just to show you all...please go here:
www.serenityplaza.webs.com
And you will see what the culmination of the vision will be!
As Rachel put it;
"One Step Leads to Another, One Mission, One Purpose -
VICTIM RECOVERY!"
The best way to describe it is just to show you all...please go here:
www.serenityplaza.webs.com
And you will see what the culmination of the vision will be!
As Rachel put it;
"One Step Leads to Another, One Mission, One Purpose -
VICTIM RECOVERY!"
From the Road II
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Posted by REM
at 08:38 AM on April 24, 2008
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comments (0)
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Just a quick message from Rachel today...
"Children are not the only victims of child abuse and neglect"
"Children are not the only victims of child abuse and neglect"
Rachel from the Road - Prevention/Intervention
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Posted by REM
at 01:42 PM on April 21, 2008
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comments (0)
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Greetings All,
Rachel sent me this note from the road. It completely jibes with the research that we have done of late as to what becomes of the abused.
Here are a few statistics first:
The authors find that child maltreatment roughly doubles the probability that an individual engages in many types of crime.
One potential explanation for the large effects is that children who experience maltreatment start engaging in crime earlier, an explanation that appears to be supported by studies the authors highlight. Abused or neglected children are more likely to be arrested as both juveniles and as adults. Starting to engage in criminal behavior early may increase illegal human capital by raising experience in criminal activities, and decrease human capital in legitimate activities, such as schooling or being in the labor market. This would further increase criminal propensities.
that being maltreated approximately doubles the probability of engaging in many types of crime and that the effects are worst for children from low socio-economic status backgrounds.
Sexual abuse appears to have the largest effects on crime, perhaps justifying the emphasis on this type of abuse in the literature and in the media. Finally, the probability of engaging in crime increases with the experience of multiple forms of maltreatment as well as the experience of involvement with Child Protective Services. These findings suggest that criminal behavior increases not only with the incidence of maltreatment but also with the severity of maltreatment.
" Does Child Abuse Cause Crime?" by Janet Currie and Erdal Tekin
It must be said that if a child was sexually abused and does not learn how to appropriately bond with others, he will use the same method of bonding that was used on him. The act of sexual abuse was a stressful and threatening experience for the child. It can be hypothesized then that that act of sex that caused the child so much stress is now the child?s way of coping with perceived threats. The child?s way to cope with stress is to seek out relationships that are sexualized in nature.
The sexual addict exhibits behavior that can be either culturally deviant or culturally acceptable. Some professionals do not use the term ?addiction? for behaviors and so reject the idea that sex could become an addiction (Martin & Ragan, 2000). However, an interesting point needs to be addressed: if a person substitutes sexual behavior for substance dependence in the DSMIV, sexual addiction is found to directly parallel with the description and symptoms of substance abuse
Since the sexual behaviors in the subjects were so powerful and distressing to the patients, clinicians gave them the same attention as they would give to a schizophrenic or a person suffering from bipolar disorder (Martin & Ragan, 2000)
The addict may also use sex as a way to get back what was taken from him. Sex is a way to feel powerful; having control of someone (Giugliano, 2003). This was taken away from them if they were sexually abused as a child. The addict constantly seeks partners to use them for their own needs. When the addict is done using that person to meet his needs, he throws them away to start the process over again (Giugliano, 2003).
"CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE AFFECTS ON ADULT MALE SEXUAL ADDICTION" A Literature Review Presented to Dr. Pugh and Dr. Huber, Instructors
by Brian A. Engel
From Rachel
"I am convinced that the answers to prevention is Victim Recovery. If we do not recover the victim, abuse perpetuates.
Yes, it is vital to intervene on behalf of children being abused. However, it is absolutely imperative that we focus on Victim Recovery so that we eliminate the opportunity for future abuse.
We must do all we can to rescue the violated and direct more of our attention to the potential violators"
Rachel sent me this note from the road. It completely jibes with the research that we have done of late as to what becomes of the abused.
Here are a few statistics first:
The authors find that child maltreatment roughly doubles the probability that an individual engages in many types of crime.
One potential explanation for the large effects is that children who experience maltreatment start engaging in crime earlier, an explanation that appears to be supported by studies the authors highlight. Abused or neglected children are more likely to be arrested as both juveniles and as adults. Starting to engage in criminal behavior early may increase illegal human capital by raising experience in criminal activities, and decrease human capital in legitimate activities, such as schooling or being in the labor market. This would further increase criminal propensities.
that being maltreated approximately doubles the probability of engaging in many types of crime and that the effects are worst for children from low socio-economic status backgrounds.
Sexual abuse appears to have the largest effects on crime, perhaps justifying the emphasis on this type of abuse in the literature and in the media. Finally, the probability of engaging in crime increases with the experience of multiple forms of maltreatment as well as the experience of involvement with Child Protective Services. These findings suggest that criminal behavior increases not only with the incidence of maltreatment but also with the severity of maltreatment.
" Does Child Abuse Cause Crime?" by Janet Currie and Erdal Tekin
It must be said that if a child was sexually abused and does not learn how to appropriately bond with others, he will use the same method of bonding that was used on him. The act of sexual abuse was a stressful and threatening experience for the child. It can be hypothesized then that that act of sex that caused the child so much stress is now the child?s way of coping with perceived threats. The child?s way to cope with stress is to seek out relationships that are sexualized in nature.
The sexual addict exhibits behavior that can be either culturally deviant or culturally acceptable. Some professionals do not use the term ?addiction? for behaviors and so reject the idea that sex could become an addiction (Martin & Ragan, 2000). However, an interesting point needs to be addressed: if a person substitutes sexual behavior for substance dependence in the DSMIV, sexual addiction is found to directly parallel with the description and symptoms of substance abuse
Since the sexual behaviors in the subjects were so powerful and distressing to the patients, clinicians gave them the same attention as they would give to a schizophrenic or a person suffering from bipolar disorder (Martin & Ragan, 2000)
The addict may also use sex as a way to get back what was taken from him. Sex is a way to feel powerful; having control of someone (Giugliano, 2003). This was taken away from them if they were sexually abused as a child. The addict constantly seeks partners to use them for their own needs. When the addict is done using that person to meet his needs, he throws them away to start the process over again (Giugliano, 2003).
"CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE AFFECTS ON ADULT MALE SEXUAL ADDICTION" A Literature Review Presented to Dr. Pugh and Dr. Huber, Instructors
by Brian A. Engel
From Rachel
"I am convinced that the answers to prevention is Victim Recovery. If we do not recover the victim, abuse perpetuates.
Yes, it is vital to intervene on behalf of children being abused. However, it is absolutely imperative that we focus on Victim Recovery so that we eliminate the opportunity for future abuse.
We must do all we can to rescue the violated and direct more of our attention to the potential violators"
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